Is there any flash/php instant messenger that i can purchase, host on my server and easily integrate into my existing web site ?

Try Userplane.......click on the ad at the top of the screen. They know more about this stuff than anyone.

Userplane is too expensive, You can have the same a lot cheaper. Check out SkaDate dating script with Flash Chat/IM

Feel free to try oir product Ray A/V at http://www.boonex.com/products/ray/

This one comes with no ongoing fees unlike Userplane and Skadate flash chat /im, which is a great alternative for any serious dating website.

Hi, you could try a free trial version from Interactive Networks Inc. Flexible IM Solutions. www.interactiveni.com . Since 1998, it has been developing Custom instant messaging (IM) solutions for Websites and ISPs. Contact us: U.S tool free: 1-866-436-1127/ Outside the US 1-202-787-1127. Also, we have a SDK version to developers. Video chat/ Voice chat, mobiles and many features available!! Low cost. Minimiun initial invest.
Regards!
PG

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www.interactiveni.com. Since 1998, it has been developing Custom instant messaging (IM) solutions for Websites and ISPs. Contact us: U.S tool free: 1-866-436-1127/ Outside the US 1-202-787-1127 Pablo Galmes Channel Manager

Only the one which interests me is Skype. I was using it previously but one of my friend told me about R HUB it is a great featured system which supports almost all of the features of a conference or messaging http://rhubcom.com so i would suggest R HUB to you try it 4 ur self to know how great it is, YOu can get it by spending a small amount of your money.

so cheers

enjoy life !!!!

i've read in another thread about the toksta instant messenger... tested it once on a site. it's a quite solid solution...

video-instant-messenger-for-dating-sites-t3041.html

Interesting - much is going on in this space within the dating industry. Something worth keeping ones eye on.

Marc Lesnick
Conference Organizer
Internet Dating Conference

We have a thread about the recent news on Userplane here:

userplane-shut-down-t3137.html

There are also a list of other companies vying for the business.

Marc Lesnick
Conference Organizer
iDate2009 LA

Being under pressure of Userplane official shut down, thousands of web site owners seek alternative solutions. In response to market needs Flashcoms will be releasing hosted chat and instant messaging solution.
The applications are being developed in full compliance with the Userplane API to provide seamless and easy transition. In addition to "industry classic" numerous features and innovations, Flashcoms compliments users with a hassle-free installation - a simple, copy-paste procedure.
Being among the speakers at the upcoming iDate conference held in June 2009 Flashcoms will make an official announcement of Z5messenger and Z5chat release. We welcome all interested parties to participate in exhibition to get latest updates straight from the tin.
Anticipating the official release live demos of Z5messenger and Z5chat can be already seen at http://www.z5messenger.com , http://www.z5chat.com.

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Doug Brown
Flashcoms.com